foxdearr:

when edgar allan poe said “tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.” and when hozier said “i wouldn’t fall for someone i thought couldn’t misbehave.”

askebjorns:

Bjorn’s lips thinned in consternation (which was unfair, really, as he had the nicest mouth, full lips for biting and sucking, the feel of them against his neck…) “You’re such a hypocrite,” he said, shaking his head as he folded up the needle and catgut and stowed them into his pack.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, hypocrite. I’ve lost count of how many times you’ve lectured me for being reckless, taking foolish risks that weren’t necessary, at least not in your opinion. So you don’t have any right to chastise me for doing the same to you.”

“Don’t I?”

Bjorn pulled the bandage taut, perhaps a little more than necessary, his eyes blazing. “No. You don’t.”

How annoying, how thrilling, when he got like this; so intent it seemed he could see through flesh and sinew and bone, straight to the heart of him. “So what will you do if I keep doing it? Really, Bjorn, if anyone’s the hypocrite here –”

In one staggering moment, Bjorn swept aside his kit and pushed Askeladd back into the pallet with so much force that when his head the pillow, a little ‘oof’ escaped him in his surprise. Then Bjorn was above him, pressing into him, those confounding lips on his neck, kissing, biting. “I’ll chastise you,” Bjorn breathed, until Askeladd shuddered in his arms.

the rest on ao3

Ok so i lied and THIS will be my update for today and….i dont know how long ^^;

Im so sorry again for scaring you guys. I was in a rlly dark place (still kind of am) but im a little more clearheaded now. I feel rlly bad for scaring you guys and im rlly sorry. But please know im still here and still breathing.

I may still go on a bit of a break here. Or at least i wont be super active for a few days. I give myself a week at least, just to figure things out. I’ll still be on discord tho to communicate with ppl, cuz i cant get by completely on my own. But my blog here and prolly on twjtter might be quiet. Hopefully not for too long.

Tha k you to everyone again for your kind messages and your love. Thank you for being so patient, and for loving me when i couldnt love myself. You guys are beautiful and cherished and deserve to be happy. Thank you. I love you

positiveautistic:

。・゜              ♡ ・ 。       。・゜ ♡   。・゜              ♡ ・ 。       。・゜ ♡        ♡   。・゜                   ♡           .               .♡             ・ 。       。・゜ ♡  

I love you so much, please stay alive

    。・゜              ♡ ・ 。       。・゜ ♡   。・゜              ♡ ・ 。       。・゜ ♡        ♡   。・゜                   ♡           .           .♡   ♡   。・゜   。・゜              ♡ ・ 。   

last update for…idk how long

Keep reading

Nother pointless update: m still trying to be patient with myself. Doing a better job at it today than yesterday. Still got kind of mean to myself earlier and its still hard to completely distract myself. I wanna get back to working on all my unfinished wips but rn im not ready to do so without feeling the pressure. Being patient and taking life at my own pace is kind of frustratinf but im hoping i’ll get there

Anonymous asked: I don't know what words could ease your heart but I just want you to know that your blog and YOU brought me genuine happiness at times, I know you're suffering and it feels like living hell ,it just pains me so much to read these updates and know that I can't do or say anything to relieve all what you're going through but I wholeheartedly want you to know that I bear nothing but love for you and I'm sending my own blessings to you and I know they'll reach you. please tell us how we could help

baby i wish i could say more than thank you so much and i love you. if i could i’d give you the biggest hug, and i’d tell you how much these words just bring so much light even though im in a very dark and scary place rn. it’s been so hard to stay strong lately, but im so blessed knowing there are kind and loving people out there like you. baby i hope you know how loved you are, and how important and valued you are. thank you so much baby i love you so much

Last update today: i wanna put this shit under a cut put mobile wong let me do that so…warning for suicide mention and self harm mention.

Im in a bathroom crying. I couldnt hold it. All i can think about right now is ending everything. I dont see anything in my future rn. Im trying to think of all the reasons why i shouldnt go thru with it. There are ppl i love who i don’t wanna leave behind. But i feel like everyone would be happier without me. And its jist im so far behind in life, and the future is so uncertain and dark rn. Even before this whole mess started happenig outside, i was still slipping and falling behind and fucking everything up. I keep messing up every time i try, and i feel like im not going anywhere with my life. Its just so exhausting to keep going even tho im hardly moving.

I dont think i’ll actually go thru with ending my life because in the end im too scared. And im never able to finish anything. But at the same time i dont know what to do with this life im wasting. Im never gonna amount to anything or be successful at anything. And the longer im here the more i bother ppl or drive them away. And its just so lonely and everything hurts so much. I dont know how to make myself happy. I hate myself so much and i just want everything to stop.

Im sorry my updates arent happier